


Fear of the Dark

by TheAntleredPolarBear



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Childhood Friends, Gen, Hugs, Kylo Ren Backstory, or at least a self-indulgent headcanon of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-21 17:15:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8253898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAntleredPolarBear/pseuds/TheAntleredPolarBear
Summary: Ben Organa-Solo gets a hug from a new friend.(a present for my lovely friend Caddy).





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CadomirBane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadomirBane/gifts).



Ben Organa-Solo has always known that he’s a little bit strange. He definitely looks strange. His ears are too big for him, like he hasn’t grown into them yet, and his nose isn’t in the middle of his face. His mouth is not quite symmetrical. His teeth are crooked and overcrowded and his chin is wonky. And to top it off, there are moles and freckles dotted all over his face.

Now, he might have been able to work with his appearance, if his personality wasn’t so freakish to match. He sees the other kids staring at him when the noises get too loud, or when his eyes get a little too teary, or when everything gets so…so _much_ that he can’t help but shake. Ever since the meltdown in the cafeteria on his first day, there always seems to be a steady flow of half-fearful glances coming his way.

There had been one upside to his embarrassing episode, however. It had come along later, seeking him out in the Quiet Room. It’s much less ominous than it sounds, just a room full of bean bags and stuffed animals for kids to sit in while they calm down. Uncle Luke had steered him there and sat with him until he felt a bit better. He’d still been there when another kid, definitely not human, had poked her enormous head around the door to ask if Ben was okay. If he wanted any food, since he’d accidentally sent his flying into a wall. She could bring some, whatever he wanted, even if it was the joopa meat meant just for her.

In the end, Ben had quietly asked for some lemon drizzle cake and a glass of water. She’d brought it in herself, two servings of it, and she’d given him the slightly larger slice. She’d even stayed and eaten with him, even though he’d found out later that she’s a carnivore. And then, she’d decided that they were friends.

Well, he’d hardly been in a position to _refuse_.

Her name is Seku, and she’s actually a Lasat. She must be six and a half feet tall at the _least_ , all powerful shoulders and lean muscle. Her entire body is covered in white fur with no visible markings, except her tail, which ends abruptly in a bald stump. One pale blue eye is permanently focused on her nose. Her smile is crooked, her teeth sharp. Every so often, she’ll run the fingers of one hand through the fur on the opposite forearm, especially at lunch when there are so many voices and sounds to process all at once. She calls it a “stim.” Ben isn’t sure what that means, but it seems like it works. Maybe he should try it.

He wishes he could be more like her. Some small, nasty part of him wants to hate her for being so _together_ , but she’s so good to him, he knows he never could. He’ll never forget the warm swell of comfort that rose in his gut when she had smiled her toothy smile and said, “It’s okay. I’m weird too. I think that’s why we’re friends.”

(And she is weird, though Ben would never say so).

* * *

Ben should have expected that the nightmares would hit. He’d been foolishly hoping that they’d pass him by for a little while, but even before falling asleep on his fourth night at the temple, he’d known he was in for it. He’d told himself to stop being silly, to just go to sleep, but his initial instinct had been right.

It starts with him in his room, back home. He can smell shaak meat roasting in the kitchen. Mum and Dad are talking over some HoloNet drama, laughing at the cringey parts. Ben flings the covers off and runs out of the room.

“Hey! How’s my little co-pilot?” Dad used to call him that when he was little. Strangely, Ben doesn’t mind the nickname.

“You had use worried, sleeping that long,” Mum adds. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, Mum, I’m good.” And he is good. Everything feels great, in fact. He jogs over and practically throws himself down between them. Mum quickly puts an arm around him, and pulls him into a hug.

“Dinner’s almost ready,” Mum says. He can hear the smile in her voice. “Why don’t you have a quick shower, and get dressed? We can all sit up together.”

It had been months since they’d had a proper family dinner together. Mum had to work so much, and even when she was home, she and Dad had been fighting. That usually resulted in Dad leaving the house. He practically skips to the bathroom, washes himself as quickly as he could while still being thorough, and pulls on his clothes. He’s so excited that it takes him at least half a minute before he realises he’s trying to put his foot in a hat instead of a sock. Once he’s finally dressed, he strolls out into the hallway.

“I’m ready! Do you need any help dishing…”

Mum and Dad are gone. The smell of shaak meat has dissipated. The house is empty.

Somehow, he knows that they’re gone, but he searches anyway. Behind every piece of furniture, inside every cupboard and wardrobe, under every bed, and even ripping the covers off of them in case they were hiding underneath, like children playing hide and seek. He emerges back into the living area, already well beyond the point of desperate tears…and there she is. Mum.

Too relieved to be angry, he approaches her. She’s facing away from him. “Mum? What happened? Where’d you go?”

“I’ve been here the whole time.” Her voice is blank, emotionless, like a computer simulation. She still doesn’t face him. Ben places a hand on her shoulder, and begins to turn her to face him.

“Mum?” he gets out, before he sees her face. Her eyes are black. No iris, no sclera, just pure, expansive black. They don’t even reflect the lights of the room. As he watches, they begin to cry thick, black tears. Ben takes a step back without thinking, slipping on who knows what and falling to the floor. Pain radiates up his wrist. Mum opens her mouth, and the black liquid begins to pour from her mouth as well.

“Mum!” The liquid is thick and sticky and foul-smelling. It glances off her with not a trace of residue, but it clings to Ben’s clothes and skin. He tries to stand, but it sucks at him and keeps him pinned to the floor. “Mum! Mama, help me!”

The liquid is around his ears now. He opens his mouth to scream again, but it pools in his mouth, choking him. He coughs and gurgles but it won’t shift. The first dribble blooms in the corner of his eye. It’s in his lungs, his stomach.

He can still see her standing there. She doesn’t help him.

Ben wakes with a start. It’s pitch black, and his heart thumps violently in his chest like a bird trying to escape a cage. He sucks in deep, frantic breaths. He explodes out of bed and yanks the curtains open, allowing the pale light of the moon to flood into the room.

Ben sighs with relief. It’s still dark, so dark, but the light offers enough reprieve to make him feel safer. He allows himself a moment there, feeling the breeze through the open window. Pleasant warmth against his sweating face.

He can hear footsteps through the cracked-open door, and he freezes. Uncle Luke must be coming to everyone’s still in bed. He practically leaps back into bed, and pulls the covers up. He does not fancy having him tell Mum and Dad that he’s still scared of the dark.

But instead of Uncle Luke, it’s a huge white face that peers into the room.

“You screamed,” says Seku. He can’t see her face well, but she sounds concerned.

“No, I didn’t,” he replies. He’d know if he had, because he’d be dying of embarrassment as other students filed out of their rooms to see what all the noise was about.

“I didn’t say you screamed _out loud_.” Ben feels his eyebrows pinch together in confusion. She seems to sense that, because she elaborates. “I heard it in here,” she explains, pointing to her temple. “You must have been calling out for someone.”

“I hadn’t even realised.” Ben’s face feels hot. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she says, brightly. “Are you okay?”

“I’m scared,” he admits. He must be practically glowing right now, he’s blushing so hard. Seku doesn’t say a word in response. She just turns and shambles out of the room.

Wow, okay. He knows that she’s no expert when it comes to social graces, but surely she knows enough to give him a “goodnight.” He scowls at the tears forming in his eyes. She probably thinks Ben’s a baby now anyway, he doesn’t need to make things even worse. _Pathetic_ , says the voice in his head (Ben agrees). _Just pathetic. Look at you, crying just because some kid forgot to say goo-_

The thought is abruptly cut off. Seku knocks the door open with a _bonk_ , and re-enters the room with a mat and pillow in hand. “I’ll stay here with you,” she whispers, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the galaxy. “Then you won’t be so scared.”

Ben watches in surprise as she spreads the mat on the floor, and throws her pillow down at the head. She drops down onto all fours, and stretches her back out. She lies on her back next, and stretches each limb in turn. Then she falls limp, limbs still spread everywhere. He’s pretty sure her right foot is almost completely underneath his bed. He can see her huge blue eyes glowing ever-so-slightly, reflecting the dim light of the moon outside. When she yawns, her enormous teeth glint.

“You sleep on the floor?” Ben asks, finally.

Seku nods. “I slept on a bunk growing up,” she explains. “Beds are too soft for sleeping.”

Too soft for sleeping. That’s a new one.

Seku simply gives her shoulders a final wiggle before falling still. “You want a hug?”

A part of him wants to say no, if only to save his pride. He’s ten, he’s in double figures now; he has to be mature. But a bigger part of him is still shaken from the nightmare, and afraid of the dark, and just as pathetic as the voice said. He doesn’t even have to speak before Seku raises her huge arms in a welcoming gesture. Ben clambers out of bed, and rests his head against her wide chest as her arms fold over him.

The first thing he notices is how loud her heartbeat is. The rhythmic _lub-dub_ thuds in the ear crushed to her chest under the weight of his head, and the cavernous sounds of her breathing rise and fall much slower and smoother. Her arms are heavy, but not uncomfortably so. She strokes his head a few times, his bed-hair stubbornly bouncing back up each time.

“I get nightmares too, sometimes,” she says, absently. “Mostly they’re just noises, ‘cause I can’t see well.”

“So how did you know I wasn’t screaming in your nightmare?” Ben asks.

“I didn’t. I wanted to check on you anyway.” She finishes stroking his hair, instead resting a hand on his shoulder. “Big kids get scared too.”

The idea that Seku would get so worried about him over nothing more than a nightmare is enough to bring the lump back to his throat. _Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic_ , the voice in his head chants, but for once, he doesn’t listen. The tears that slip out of his eyes are quickly absorbed into her clothes. A sniff pulls itself up his nose, and instantly Seku is pulling him closer, rubbing his back.

“Oh, no, it’s okay. Don’t cry. I’m not mad,” she says, soothingly. He’s willing to let her think that he’s worried he’s upset her, rather than the much more humiliating alternative: he can’t believe Seku cares about him quite that much. She’s only known him four days, after all. But lying to Seku isn’t quite like lying to anyone else, and it feels mean to even try.

“I’m okay,” he chokes. “I’m not upset. I’m just…I don’t know. I’m just glad we’re friends. Is that dumb?”

“I don’t think so,” she replies, her voice thick with sleepiness. “I’m glad we’re friends too.” She yawns, causing a hollow whooshing noise in her chest that makes him smile. He’s probably just emotional because he’s so tired. The little wet patch his tears left has already been dried up by the warmth of her body. By the Force, she is so warm. Just the right temperature for comfort in the heavily air-conditioned inside of the temple. Ben could quite happily stay here forever, if she’d let him, and live a life of perfect warmth and softness and gentle noises.

But his reverie ends abruptly when Seku starts to snore lightly.

Oh Hell. Oh no.

“Seku?” he hisses. “Seku, wake up!” In response, she mumbles something incoherent and gathers him even closer, nuzzling the top of his head under her great chin. That had to be deliberate. He could easily punch her in the ribs if he had any wiggle room at all.

This is definitely against Uncle Luke’s rules. Students aren’t allowed in each other’s rooms _at all_ after lights out, let alone allowed to fall asleep on each other. At least when Ben was still in bed, he could point the finger at Seku and say she came in when he was asleep, and he knows that she would have shouldered the blame if it would make him feel better. But now he’s stuck in this position and he won’t be able to lie his way out of it.

Not that he’s entirely sure lying to Uncle Luke would have worked anyway, but he could have made a decent attempt at least.

But…since there’s no getting out of it now, he figures he may as well make the best of it. It’s not an unpleasant feeling, not by a long shot. He’s not uncomfortable. His knees are folded beneath his bottom, his torso resting on Seku’s enormous body, and his arm draped over her other side. The noises in her chest are so soothing; he can feel a pleasantly weighted tranquillity pool in the base of his gut. Her arms are soft and strong enough to make him feel absolutely safe. And did he mention before that she’s _warm_?

Awkwardness and potential punishment can have their chance in the morning, but right now, he finally decides that it’s time to get some sleep. He rubs his cheek against her fur, which is decidedly not too soft for sleeping, and allows his eyes to drift shut.

That night, the nightmares don’t return to plague him.


End file.
